I Got Crabs!!!!

Not that type of crabs...👀😂

On May 3, 2021, my sisters bought me crabs🦀 to the hospital. You may think it's hilarious, (it is 😂), but this was love at its best. I was in ICU step down, (before I went back to ICU) and I was in and out of surgeries, in unimaginable pain, and just overall miserable. This not so little gesture was a turning point for me. This was a little piece of normalcy in a completely abnormal situation.

No one but God will know my true feelings and thoughts during this time in my life because I have been super careful not to plant seeds that I have no intention of growing. What I will say is that even now, two and a half years later, sometimes darkness 𝍈 tries to creep in but in true "ME" form, I ain't scared of the dark! With the darkness comes a fight. A fight to see the light💡 when there is none visible. A fight to dig DEEP into myself to grab at whatever light I can muster up in those moments. Without fail, every time I'm getting to that dark space, God sends someone or something to shine a light that I can not miss. 

On that particular Monday, I was in a dark place but not how you may imagine.  Of course I wasn't happy in the hospital, away from my kids for months and my body mangled but I was prepared to let loose the rage inside because of how i felt and how I was being treated. I distinctly remember this day because one of the nurses that I had particularly liked was being short and dismissive on nightshift and I had to really show my ass to get the care I needed. I didn't get much sleep because of how uncomfortable I was so I was lacking in my usual efficient coping mechanisms. When they told me I had visitors coming I had planned to just check out and be unengaged for the day but then my sister handed me this yellow bag with a pan covered in aluminum foil inside and I got the spark I so desperately needed. The crabs helped but it was the unsolicited action that  gave me what I needed. No one said anything special or gave me a million dollars and yet I was instantly joyful.  Everyone thinks crabs are my happy place and that is partly true but in all honesty its the willingness to make that happen for me that really excites me.

There are things that you may seem as insignificant or mediocre that may mean the world to someone else.  So the next time you feel the urge to send a funny meme or buy someone you love their favorite candy, do it. You may be that light from God for someone. My light that day was that I GOT CRABS 🦀🦀🦀... lol

Crabs @ Cooper Hospital